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Sep 21
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend moved as if to go down on me, but instead stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair before getting back up again. FML
High-Res ->6 notes
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Aug 11
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me “permission” to give him a blowjob. FML
High-Res ->6 notes
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Aug 2
Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He’d known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML
High-Res ->35 notes
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Jul 24
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn’t told anyone about the theft. FML
High-Res ->17 notes
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Jul 17
73 notes
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Jul 10
Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML
High-Res ->6 notes
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Jul 6
Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend’s facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML
High-Res ->19 notes
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Jul 5
Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML
High-Res ->16 notes
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Jun 9
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When we came, he moaned the name of the girl that has a crush on him, to see what my reaction would be like. My orgasm was instantly over. FML
High-Res ->5 notes
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May 29
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won’t give me a hand job because “it’s awfully wet down there,” and he isn’t “a fan of other people’s bodily fluids.” FML
High-Res ->5 notes
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May 28
Today, I overheard a conversation between my boyfriend and his best friend about how to shave one’s nuts completely. FML
(submitted by Anon, thanks!)
High-Res ->31 notes
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May 20
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
High-Res ->8 notes
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May 16
Today, my company is organizing a huge party. I go to work dressed in my best outfit. At the the lunch break my boss says to me ‘You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!’ FML
High-Res ->
